make me a witness
take me out, out of darkness, out of doubt

– “Witness” Sarah McLachlan

Under the blanket of night, when all is calm and quiet, it’s easy to ruminate on the day’s events, past occurrences, and future possibilities. Like many people, as a very small child, bedtime would feel more like a battle: often scared of unseen forces in the dark with heightened senses to unfamiliar sounds, breaking out in cold sweats or crying from a nightmare. I was raised an only child and my parents preferred I learn to sleep alone in my room. As a coping mechanism, I developed vivid dream worlds that played out into movie scenarios to direct and curate. Eventually, I gained a passion for reading and music, a natural escape from this primal fear of the dark. Adolescent years, where the need for privacy and space became paramount, my room was a place of comfort and my bed the place to truly build up dreams. Up until now, bedtime is a sanctuary of sorts – a place to rest and put a spotlight on the world.

This painting is a personal symbol of this space for myself, but I am all too aware of its implications of loss and at its worst of violence. Morality is always an underlying theme that I welcome, especially as I’ve been faced with having my grandfather, mother, and father pass away within my home space. A bed is often the stark and empty object last left behind. We are all witness to the workings of this world – leaving us to question and search for answers, attempts at making sense of things – to mourn to rejoice, we can face it or run away until our final reckoning.